Friday, April 26, 2013

mother of two.

Dear Lily,
     It's been a rough week.  Probably the hardest one yet in my short, Mommy-of-two experience.  It's been hard for me to realize that despite the fact that you're so smart, and strong(-willed), and growing so big, you are still just a little girl.  My little girl.  I think I've been trying to make you grow up too fast, and expecting too much of you.  I probably focus on the negatives--the messes, the no-nos-- a little too much.  But I want you to know how much I love you right now.  I love how you put your hands on my cheeks, press your forehead against mine, and look into my eyes when you really want me to pay attention to you.  I love that you love music.  You request songs, and know the motions to them, and sing the words that you know reeallly loud.  You also sing a song of your own invention that goes, "Happy! Two. Three. Four. Mama! Dada! Wolen! Meee! Happy Twooo!"  I love what a sweet big sister you are.  You say "Hiii Wolen. Hi Wolen..." over and over in a sweet, high-pitched voice.  You push him in his swing, run and tell me when he's crying, and offer me suggestions of what might be wrong ("Wolen. Kyy. He saa (sad). Poopy. Change. Kungry. Eat").  I love that you ask for a "Tis" (kiss) and command us to give you a hug at bedtime (your baby doll has to get a kiss and hug too).  I love that you want to watch Cinderella, and wear your "Pincess jammies."  I love that you say "Sorry" when you bump into me.  Baby girl, you are sweet, sometimes intense, "silly" (probably your favorite word), demanding, caring, beautiful, and I love you.  All of you.  Even on weeks like this.

Dear Nolan,
      I cannot get enough of your smiles, and luckily you don't hesitate to share them.  They're frequent and genuine and like a balm when I'm feeling stressed or frustrated.  You are just so happy and relaxed.  I love your cheeks and your swoopy hair, and that you look like your Daddy.  I love that you sleep for long stretches, sometimes 6 or 7 hours.  You have been a blessing from the beginning, and I kind of think you're perfect.  I love that you follow us around with your eyes, and "talk" so much.  You've started to rollover, and it's hard to believe how fast you're growing.  I've felt guilty because I haven't been able to savor every little moment with you like I've wanted to, but rest assured you've got your Mommy wrapped around your little finger.  I love you, my sweet little chunk.