**Long Story Warning**
A dull, throbbing pain woke me at almost exactly midnight, March 10th. It was my due date. Cole and I had lost some sleep a few nights before on account of a false alarm. Because of this, Cole told me not to wake him up unless I had experienced two or more contractions. So I laid in bed with my iPod Touch timing contractions using one of those online calculators. I still wasn't sure it was the real deal.
- 12:40 a.m. I finally woke up Cole. My contractions were ranging from about 5-15 minutes apart.
- 1:00 a.m. We called Cole's mom and dad and told them to book their flight to San Antonio because I was going into labor!
At around 4 a.m. we decided it was time. Cole gave me a blessing, we took some video, and headed out. Cole took Babcock Road, which they were/are doing construction on, seemingly hitting every bump at full speed. We had to stop at H-E-B to return a Redbox movie (I definitely didn't want to be charged an extra couple nights!). We had a hard time finding the entrance to the hospital (should've taken the tour). I called my mom and Grandma at 5 a.m. to tell them we were almost there.
Cole had to go to the bathroom so he left me to check in. The lady at check-in bugged me so much! She kept asking me why I was there. I could hardly talk through the contractions to tell her that I was clearly having a baby. By the time Cole returned, they had taken me back. They wouldn't let him back to see me yet so he paced and paced. Within 10 min. they let him in, but he almost immediately had to go to the bathroom again. Cole kept asking the nurse, Rosa, if he should go get our bags. He must've asked her five times. We laughed about how she must've thought he was crazy.
- 5:42 a.m. Dilated to only 3.5 cm and 100% effaced
- 7:00 a.m. They admitted us and took us into a very large delivery room. My mom and grandma weren't far behind.
- 8:00 a.m. Dilated to 4 cm. At this point, I tried to get some rest. I remember one contraction making me burst into tears. Cole was standing above me watching as it passed. I looked up and said, "That one hurt." After that there was no more crying, just breathing, until later at least.
- 9:30 a.m. The sweet relief of an epidural! The doctor broke my water around 9:40 a.m.
- 10:35 a.m. Dilated to 6 cm
My doctor came in and told us he could try vacuum extraction, and if that didn't work, it would have to be a C-section. He did the vacuum, and I'm told that the bed and I moved, but not Lily. She was stuck. This is when it hit me that the one thing I really did not want--a C-section--was the thing I was going to get. I started to cry and so did Cole. I've never felt closer to anyone as I did to Cole throughout the birth and after. All at once they wheeled me off. Cole was sent to get suited up, but I didn't know that. It was another blur of people, but this time no one I knew. I continued to cry. I was really scared and all I wanted was Cole. It was freezing in the delivery room, and I began shaking uncontrollably. I felt nauseous again so they gave me more medicine. It burned going into my veins. Finally Cole came in and the surgery started. It seemed like just another second and I heard her little cry at 4:22 p.m. They moved her over to clean her up and Cole went over to see her. I was so frustrated because I could hear her and all I wanted to do was see her and hold her. The whole experience seemed like it happened so fast except that one moment; it felt like an eternity. Cole came back and I was still crying. I kept saying, "Where's my baby? I want to see my baby." Cole kept reassuring me saying, "It's okay. I know it seems like it's taking a long time. They're almost done." Finally he brought her over and I cried even more. I think I was so overwhelmed. I felt relieved, disappointed, and in awe all at the same time. I remember thinking she didn't look like how I expected she would. She was so white and her lips were so red, but she was beautiful.
Our emotional first meeting
Finally get to hold her
I held her as they wheeled me back into the room where Cole's and my family were all waiting. I didn't want to let go of her. This is where I'll stop. It was a very bittersweet experience--not at all like I had pictured it. The birth and the couple days following have definitely been the hardest days of motherhood with the fluctuating hormones, the lack of sleep, the pain, and the working through a lot of mixed emotions about the experience. I can honestly say now that each day after has gotten better despite the fact that the delivery wasn't ideal. I know it's cliche, but it's truly amazing how much love this one little person has brought into our world. We really couldn't be more blessed.