Thursday, May 5, 2011

A Baby Story

**Long Story Warning**

A dull, throbbing pain woke me at almost exactly midnight, March 10th. It was my due date. Cole and I had lost some sleep a few nights before on account of a false alarm. Because of this, Cole told me not to wake him up unless I had experienced two or more contractions. So I laid in bed with my iPod Touch timing contractions using one of those online calculators. I still wasn't sure it was the real deal.
  • 12:40 a.m. I finally woke up Cole. My contractions were ranging from about 5-15 minutes apart.
  • 1:00 a.m. We called Cole's mom and dad and told them to book their flight to San Antonio because I was going into labor!
We continued to time the contractions. I called the hospital and they told me to come in when they were 3-5 minutes apart. We both showered. Eventually I was crouching down on the ground with my eyes closed, breathing through each contraction. The pain was especially intense in my lower back. It was time to go.

At around 4 a.m. we decided it was time. Cole gave me a blessing, we took some video, and headed out. Cole took Babcock Road, which they were/are doing construction on, seemingly hitting every bump at full speed. We had to stop at H-E-B to return a Redbox movie (I definitely didn't want to be charged an extra couple nights!). We had a hard time finding the entrance to the hospital (should've taken the tour). I called my mom and Grandma at 5 a.m. to tell them we were almost there.

Cole had to go to the bathroom so he left me to check in. The lady at check-in bugged me so much! She kept asking me why I was there. I could hardly talk through the contractions to tell her that I was clearly having a baby. By the time Cole returned, they had taken me back. They wouldn't let him back to see me yet so he paced and paced. Within 10 min. they let him in, but he almost immediately had to go to the bathroom again. Cole kept asking the nurse, Rosa, if he should go get our bags. He must've asked her five times. We laughed about how she must've thought he was crazy.

Chillin in triage
  • 5:42 a.m. Dilated to only 3.5 cm and 100% effaced
  • 7:00 a.m. They admitted us and took us into a very large delivery room. My mom and grandma weren't far behind.
  • 8:00 a.m. Dilated to 4 cm. At this point, I tried to get some rest. I remember one contraction making me burst into tears. Cole was standing above me watching as it passed. I looked up and said, "That one hurt." After that there was no more crying, just breathing, until later at least.

Just hours away from being a mom
  • 9:30 a.m. The sweet relief of an epidural! The doctor broke my water around 9:40 a.m.
  • 10:35 a.m. Dilated to 6 cm
My epidural made me tired and nauseous so I tried to sleep. They gave me medicine to counteract the nausea, which made me even more tired. It felt like I had slept only a moment when they told me it was time to start pushing. I remember thinking No, not yet. I'm too tired. I thought by the time I had to push I would've slept off the medicine's side effects. From here on out it is a blur of people-- Cole, my mom, my grandma, nurses, and it's funny but I only remember seeing my doctor once. It's a blur of senses --mainly extreme fatigue, nausea, the feeling of cool ice chips, deep, gasping breaths followed by feeling like my face was going to burst from pushing, but no feeling, no pressure where it actually counted. I dozed in and out of consciousness until the nurse's face would appear and tell me it's time to push again. It could've been minutes between each push, but it felt like only seconds. At one point, Cole's mom arrived. Everyone looked concerned, but Cole stayed strong and in his "buck up"/inspirational tone told me to "Push harder." I pushed for almost 3 hours.

My doctor came in and told us he could try vacuum extraction, and if that didn't work, it would have to be a C-section. He did the vacuum, and I'm told that the bed and I moved, but not Lily. She was stuck. This is when it hit me that the one thing I really did not want--a C-section--was the thing I was going to get. I started to cry and so did Cole. I've never felt closer to anyone as I did to Cole throughout the birth and after. All at once they wheeled me off. Cole was sent to get suited up, but I didn't know that. It was another blur of people, but this time no one I knew. I continued to cry. I was really scared and all I wanted was Cole. It was freezing in the delivery room, and I began shaking uncontrollably. I felt nauseous again so they gave me more medicine. It burned going into my veins. Finally Cole came in and the surgery started. It seemed like just another second and I heard her little cry at 4:22 p.m. They moved her over to clean her up and Cole went over to see her. I was so frustrated because I could hear her and all I wanted to do was see her and hold her. The whole experience seemed like it happened so fast except that one moment; it felt like an eternity. Cole came back and I was still crying. I kept saying, "Where's my baby? I want to see my baby." Cole kept reassuring me saying, "It's okay. I know it seems like it's taking a long time. They're almost done." Finally he brought her over and I cried even more. I think I was so overwhelmed. I felt relieved, disappointed, and in awe all at the same time. I remember thinking she didn't look like how I expected she would. She was so white and her lips were so red, but she was beautiful.

Our emotional first meeting

Finally get to hold her

I held her as they wheeled me back into the room where Cole's and my family were all waiting. I didn't want to let go of her. This is where I'll stop. It was a very bittersweet experience--not at all like I had pictured it. The birth and the couple days following have definitely been the hardest days of motherhood with the fluctuating hormones, the lack of sleep, the pain, and the working through a lot of mixed emotions about the experience. I can honestly say now that each day after has gotten better despite the fact that the delivery wasn't ideal. I know it's cliche, but it's truly amazing how much love this one little person has brought into our world. We really couldn't be more blessed.

the whole world in my arms

The End.


Kendra and Eric Lafferty said...

Thanks for posting your story! She is beautiful. It sounds like quite the experience; I can't imagine how hard that was! Amen to crazy hormones. You're her hero for going through all that for her! Glad you're feeling better and you're all healthy.

Kelli and Derek Hill said...

wow, meghan this made me tear up! I've been waiting for this story and thank you so much for sharing! You are a very strong woman and I loved how honest and real that baby story was. You are just the best. and your little lily is such a stunning little girl. I wish I could hold her. :)

~johnny becky hazel~ said...

I have tears in my eyes while reading this. You're amazing. What an experience!! It's crazy what we go through to get these little beauties here. Thanks for sharing this. I really hope I can meet Lily before we move!

Anne Cropper said...

That was fascinating and fun to read. I really look up to you in a lot of ways, and the way you've handled being a brand new mom is one of them. Lily is lucky to have you.

Lisa said...

Thanks for posting this. It made me cry! That must have been a really scary/amazing experience! Lily is beautiful!

Mariko said...

Amazing story!! I love the honesty, shows what a strong person you are!

Jason & Janey said...

I can't wait to meet my little niece! I love her already.

Jana said...

love that meg thanks for sharing it! i bet you're the best mom and i hope we get to meet lily soon! miss you guys

Jill said...

Thanks for sharing this amazing experience, Meghan. You and Lily are truly beautiful.

Heather said...

Meg, you rockstar! I am terrified to give birth haha, but it's comforting to see that even though it's not easy you get through it! I love you~

Ariel said...

Thanks for sharing! Child birth is crazy hard and what you did is amazing. Hope each day gets better and better:)

Katy said...

What a beautiful story, Meghan. Thanks for sharing, the good and the bad. We're so glad you and Lily are both healthy and safe!

matt said...


Tyler and Travy said...

I am so glad I stumbled across your blog from Becky's blog. Congrats to you and your darling wife with the new baby! Let's keep in touch!
P.S. my blog is ancient old in case you are going to look! :)

martha said...

ahhh meghan, i am so glad you wrote this. i am so happy you and lily are ok. i'm also so glad you and cole have grown closer together from the experience. life is so awesome! as i'm sitting here at my midwife job waiting for the new mother in the next room to wake up, i just think of how awesome motherhood is. i can't wait :) you inspire me.